IslandTime - Carpe Mañana

&*(#

It's been a challenging, but not bad, week for me at work (and it's only Wednesday). I was so pleased with myself for getting out of the office a little early; I had some idea of an impromptu movie night and happy, relaxing family time.

Upon arrival I was informed that the kid is constipated and the dog has diarrhea.

Now I'm just waiting for the punchline because this has to be a joke.

Expectations

I know that I am guilty of having very high expectations for myself and those around me, and this certainly includes my child. And really, as the parent of "Alex P. Keaton" how could I not have high expectations?

However, even in preschool it seems that expectations must be attainable for all. Based on our meeting with his teacher, it appears that the highest aspiration for a preschooler is to be "ready for kindergarten." This makes me wonder how many 5 (and nearly 5) year olds are NOT ready for kindergarten. Or maybe this is just the latest in grade inflation - Johnny gets an A because he meets our expectations.

It's clear that his teacher thinks highly of him, and enjoys having him in class. At the same time, it really seemed like the highest praise she could give was he is DEFINITELY ready for kindergarten. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking to hear that my kid is exceptional in every way; I was actually a little disappointed at the lack of clearly stated areas for improvement.

It's just that to set the bar at what (I think) should be what most should be able to attain seems to engender at best a striving for mediocrity.

speaking softly

Recently, a friend set a goal to lighten up.  The strange thing about that is that the very same week, I had committed to myself to stop yelling.  With a 4.5 year old and a not quite year old puppy, it seems like whenever I was home, all I was doing was yelling at someone.

I realized that I just didn't like the sound of my own voice any more. But not yelling at an independent-minded 4.5 year old would really require either a) more patience than I have or b) one of us leaving the country. But I'm trying.

When I'm getting annoyed, I focus on keeping my voice quiet.  Secretly, I hope that by not yelling, I will get less mad, but well, I'll settle for quiet.  The trick is that I am not giving in, or being super nice, just quiet about whatever it is. And relying on enforcing consequences to make my point.

It's been about a week now, and results are mixed. I feel like I've yelled less, especially at the kid; the dog still has the ability to make me yell as it seems like that is my only hope of getting his attention. Today, I didn't yell at Chance when he hit me with a toy hammer, but he didn't get to watch a movie tonight either.

The real test will be if he hits me with the hammer again tomorrow.

Found my iPod,
Found my iPod,
Found my iPod to-o-day
To-o-day I found my iPod
Found my iPod to-o-day.

In my backpack,
In my backpack,
In my backpack,
Just like always.
It is always in my backpack.
I guess I'm crazy.*

tune of "found a peanut"

If I had a rope...

I could make a knot. But I can't even find the rope around here. Probably it was used for some important and creative project and then not put away. Perhaps it is with my ipod that I haven't seen in several weeks. Hopefully it's not with the headphones (that the dog ate) or my bamboo knitting needles (also eaten by the dog).

All I really need for a good day I think is a day where my kid doesn't push, hit or yell at me AND the dog doesn't chew up something that belongs to me (including, but not limited to, my hands). Some days I manage one or the other of these, but it's the AND that gets me every time.

If the dog hadn't ate my 2 pairs of bamboo needles, my matching sweater might have been ready by now, but I've settled for the boys in matching sweaters for now. Perhaps next winter I'll be there in lavender...

what if...?

Every day as a parent makes me a little more thoughtful of my own parents.

I hear my son tumble down the stairs and my heart stops for a moment, terrified of the next sound I might hear (crying? a loud thud? nothing?), afraid to peak around the corner, but racing over anyway.  And then the all clear "I'm ok" and I can breathe again, my heart can beat again.

On the ski lift. I am sure that he can slip through that space, even with his helmet on (we didn't have helmets, how could my parents trust that I wouldn't get hurt without a helmet on? I shudder involuntarily as I imagine this summer's bicycle riding lessons), he could fit through that space and fall fall fall. At first, he is nervous and comforted that I am holding on to him. But I don't want him to worry; we're not going to fall, the lift will not fall, this is how it works. We talk about how it works and how they built it and all the time I am holding my breath just a little. And then it's time to raise the bar "please sit back just a little more" and tips up and we are sliding off.

The second time, he is confident and his friend is in the chair behind us. He wants to turn around and talk to him, but I hold his shoulder. Stop mom stop mom, squirm squirm fidget. I put my hands in my lap,for a moment I can do this, and then I realize that I can't not hold him, not when he could slip through. Without even wanting to, I grab his shoulder again. He wiggles more, I panic more, he wiggles more, I put my hands in my lap. I hold my ski poles tightly across his waist.

It's a beautiful day and we are happy and I hope that it's enough.

And so, I think of all the little times that my parents must have worried, must have gulped and held their tongue. 40 some years is a long time to hold your breath.

It's been a year since we've had anything to say on Islandtime. Or at least had the time to write anything down.

We've settled in to the mundanity of owning an old, broken down house (and realizing we don't really have the money or energy to fix it up), making a large lawn into a moderately sized vegetable garden, keeping up with a 4 year old, not to mention our regular "day" jobs.

While the house continues to win the battles, we have had a respectable harvest from our garden this year. We grew this year's garlic from some of the garlic we had grown the year before. We planted some fruit trees, asparagus, rhubarb and berries for subsequent years.

And the kid has excelled in his "4 year old-ness," particularly in the areas of not listening, temper tantrums, general flailing about and pushing buttons (both real and metaphorical). Oh, and he knows everything, just ask him. His appetite and willingness to eat almost anything have remained steadfast, as has his interest in talking to everyone (we believe he gets the appetite from his Tongan family and the friendliness from his Aussie family).

Anyway, it's been a year. Perhaps it's time to retire Islandtime? or refocus? Something to ponder...

Memorial Day Parade

It's been a busy month, but we made time to take Chance to his first parade. It was the first sunny day in about a week. The orange shorts were the "backups" in case of an accident, but the puddle of rainwater at the bottom of the slide wasn't the accident we had in mind. btw, there weren't any other accidents, despite being out and about for 2+ hours.

The parade was great. Just the right sized crowd, lots of food, sunny day, firetrucks, marching bands, and candy! For most of the parade, Chance was content to sit on a lap and watch, and enjoy the candy that was thrown his way (lots of new tastes - starburst, tootsie roll, root beer candy). And then came the bagpipes.

 

After that, there was no stopping him. On the way home, he asked to go to another parade. Just wait until he finds out they have parades for his birthday!

 

The serious side of youtube videos

Here are 2 more videos from my students - more serious than the previous two. Again, if you like the videos, or think someone else would, please support these kids and pass along the link.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Student Videos

Erin is teaching a class in Public Communication Media. Her students are creating videos for youtube and she will grade them on how many views their project gets. If you enjoy any of these videos, please pass along and help the students get a better grade! If you want to see more, search youtube for "cdae124"